Keep Going, 2015

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CFR’s inarguable coming of age project, Keep Going is an aurally pleasing soft rock album about patriarchy, rape culture, and heartbreak. Solidly rooted and lyrical, these songs illustrate the direct acknowledgement and rejection of a previous life of amatonormative struggle with vagueness and ongoing denial. Indications of the silly punk songs to come can be heard in tracks like RCW.9A.44.050 (The Rape Song), and in this album there is a distinct absence of CFR’s previous ambient wheelhouse. If Cold Front is the unpretty, recently whole feminist finally telling the patriarchy to go fuck itself, Keep Going was the collection of woke siren songs that angelically gave it the chance to pull its head out of its own ass first.

Vocals, Guitar, Ukulele, Violin, Accordion, Keys, Album Design,
Sound Engineering, Recording: by Courtnee Fallon Rex
Final album mastering: Aaron Marshall of noct.us
CFR photographed by Chris Clark
Released February 14, 2015

1. Wounded 07:43

Your mother taught you loving is sacrifice,
do for others more that you can
Your sister showed to properly hate yourself,
and how to take a punch like a man

Oh you’re wounded
Just like me

Wounded

Your father he instilled his doubt in you,
everything you’ve done’s in the wrong.
Think your feels into a hiding place,
now stirring to the sound of this song

You’re wounded
Just like me

The patriarchy made you know everything,
your whiteness always kept you ahead
Maneuvering this world from your niceness mask,
leaving all your shames left unsaid

You’re wounded
Just like me

They festered and corroded and they took control,
thriving in the lack of the light.
Your pain has turned you into a coward, child,
to my rape you’ve apologized.

Oh you’re wounded
Just like me

You’re worth healing for
Just like me

Wounded boys
Pretending to be a men
You don’t know what fuck’s going on

But it’s your choice
Giving up or giving in to
The paradigm that’s oppressed us all

I’m letting go of all of my hope
That you’ll ever decide I’m worth healing for

You’re worth healing for
You’re worth healing for

2. Back to Black (Amy Winehouse) 05:01

He left no time for regret
Kept his dick wet
With his same old safe bet

Me and my head high
And my tears dry
Get on without my guy

You went back to what you knew
So far removed from all that we went through
And I tread a troubled track
My odds are stacked
I’ll go back to black

We only said goodbye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to her
And I go back to…

I love you much
It’s not enough
You love blow and I love puff
And life is like a pipe
And I’m a tiny penny rolling up the walls inside

We only said goodbye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to her
And I go back to…

Black

3. Psychogirl 05:51

No, I’m not a saint
but I meditate

My anger doesn’t suit me
like it used to

I’m strong
and I’m weak
and so lovely
you’ll feel like a king
If I choose you

I’ll take you through a world you can’t imagine
my words become the whispers in your night
and through your turgid limb I take my action

Swallow
Swallow

Oh, I’m not a saint
but I meditate
My angst doesn’t rule me
like it used to

I’m calm
and I’m sweet
and so, love me
you’ll feel
from the things
I do to you

But leave me and I’ll burn your fucking house down
I’ll skin your dog alive right at your feet

La da,
da da da da da,
da da da da

Swallow
Swallow

When I gave you my sex
I handed you my trauma

Call me your good girl
Say I’m your good girl
Call me your good girl
I’ve been a good girl

4. Black Widow 05:50

Trapped in your martyrs embrace
Conditioning wants you this way
Don’t leverage your strength to be the change
Your violence, it gives you a way

In your dance
Your dance

So ageless and agile’s your noose
Framing your face under sooth
While longing to suffer my abuse
When I don’t like myself with you

So we danced
We danced
How we danced
How we danced
We danced
How we danced

Let’s dance.

5. Heavy in Your Arms (Florence and the Machine) 06:51

I was a heavy heart to carry
My beloved was weighed down
My arms around his neck
My fingers laced to crown.

I was a heavy heart to carry
My feet dragged across ground
And he took me to the river
Where he slowly let me drown

My love has concrete feet
My love’s an iron ball
Wrapped around your ankles
Over the waterfall

I’m so heavy, heavy
Heavy in your arms
I’m so heavy, heavy
Heavy in your arms

And was it worth the wait
All this killing time?
Are you strong enough to stand
Protecting both your heart and mine?

And who is the betrayer?
Who’s the killer in the crowd?
The one who creeps in corridors
And doesn’t make a sound

My love has concrete feet
My love’s an iron ball
Wrapped around your ankles
Over the waterfall

I’m so heavy, heavy
Heavy in your arms
I’m so heavy, heavy
Heavy in your arms

My beloved was weighed down
My beloved was weighed down
My beloved was weighed down
My beloved was weighed down

6. House of the Rising Sun (The Animals) 07:03

There is a house in New Orleans
They call the Rising Sun
And it’s been the ruin of many a poor soul
And God I know I’m one

My mother was a tailor
She sewed my new bluejeans
My father was a gamblin’ man
Down in New Orleans

Now the only thing a gambler needs
Is a suitcase and trunk
And the only time he’s satisfied
Is when he’s on a drunk

Oh mother tell your children
Not to do what mine has done
Don’t spend your years in sin and misery
In the House of the Rising Sun

Well, I got one foot on the platform
I’ve got one foot on the train
And I’m heading back to New Orleans
To wear that ball and chain

Well, there is a house in New Orleans
They call the Rising Sun
And it’s been the ruin of many a poor soul
And God I know I’m one

7. Say Something (A Great Big World) 03:01

Say something I’m giving up on you
I’m sorry that I couldn’t get to you
Anywhere I thought I’d follow you
Say something I’m giving up on you

And I
Will stumble and fall
I’m still learning of love
From nothing at all

And I
Have swallowed my pride
You’re the one that I love
And I’m saying goodbye

Say something I’m giving up on you
I’m sorry that I couldn’t get to you
Anywhere I thought I’d follow you
Say something I’m giving up on you

Say something

8. Hey You (Pink Floyd) 03:08

Hey you
Out there in the cold
Getting lonely getting old
Can you feel me?

Hey you
Standing in the aisles
With itchy feet and fading smiles
Can you feel me?

Hey you
Don’t help them to bury the live
Don’t give in without a fight

Hey you
Out there on your own
sitting naked by the phone
Would you touch me?

Hey you
With your ear against the wall
Waiting for someone to call you
Would you touch me?

Hey you
Would you help me to carry this stone?
Open your heart
I’m coming home

9. RCW9a.44.050 (“The Rape Song”) 04:32

I’m tired of pretending what you did wasn’t rape
I’m tired of making creepy shit be ok
With me

So I’m writing this song
Calling you out
I’m calling you out

I’ve been hoping too long
You’d get some help
Some psychological help

Cause fucking me while I was so drunk I couldn’t stand up
Negotiate no condom on a boundary I’d held steadfast for a year
That’s rape

Push your way inside of me I’m so dry disinterested
I’m curled in a fetal pose I’m glassy eyed and silent
That’s rape

Yeah, that’s rape

OH! Finger me while I’m asleep but never even asking
If it was ok with me
Well honey, there’s a word for that.
It’s rape.

Fuckin’ rape.

See it took me far too long to figure this out
Been so full of doubts
How we’re playing, it’s fucked up
And I’m calling you out
Calling you out.

So just in case you’re not pickin up what I’m puttin down I’m done with all you Rapey McRaperson rapers who rape

Nah. It’s not a date. Yech. No thanks

I wont pussyfoot around it I’m angry and fed up with softening my language around this shit fuck it it’s rape
The veil is raised

What I’m saying is I’m done helping you out
By keeping my mouth
Shut (Full)

Don’t believe me, look it up for yourself
Look it up for yourself
(Wow they actually wrote that down somewhere?) YEAH!

RCW
9a
.44
.050

Never. Again.

10. In My Mind (Amanda Palmer) 06:03

In my mind
I’ll be the picture of discipline
Waking daily at 6am
To mediate like clockwork

And I’ll face each day with exuberance
Never fucking up anything
And I’m someone I admire

And it’s funny how I imagined I would be that person now
But it doesn’t seem to have happened
Too emotionally unwound to be
The person that I had hoped was me

In my mind
All my thoughts are compassionate
Saintly, patient and tolerant
And I’m always a good listener

And in my Intellectual here and now
I’ve become in control somehow
And I never lose my temper

And it’s funny how I imagine
That I think anything like that.
Naw, I’m self righteous and reactive
Judgy smackdowns I enact

And I see I’m never gonna be the person I’m supposed to be

It’s my mind
This incessant perfectionist
That has gotten me used to this
Impossible expectation

But I’ve been exploring my consciousness
With messy passion experiments
And I’m learning to revere me

And it’s funny I still imagine
That I could be so perfect now
But that’s not what I want, if that’s what I wanted
I’d be backtracking to hell

It’s plain to see
That I don’t want to be the person that I want to be

In my mind I imagine so many things
Lofts and houses and wedding rings
And when they put me in the ground,
I’ll start pounding the lid saying “I haven’t finished yet. I still have a-show to direct. That’s about living in the moment’.”

And it’s funny I still imagine that I could win this winless fight
But maybe it isn’t all that funny that I’ve been fighting for my life
But maybe I have to find it funny if I wanna live before I die
And maybe it’s funniest of all to think that I’ll die before I ever finally see

That I am exactly the person that I’m supposed to be

Fuck yes

I’m exactly the person I want to be


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