Neevita.net » music

courtnee — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 04:50:57 +0000

I have created… a band? Whoa!

courtnee — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 23:33:06 +0000

Anyone have experience with compact/portable guitars? I’d like to have one at the office, for times like these when people don’t show up and I’m not into scrambling to fill the session.

The voices! The voices!

courtnee — Sat, 29 May 2010 20:37:42 +0000

Wow! I just discovered something awesome!

I was taking a dump, right, and singing in the bathroom. I do that on Saturdays around here, since there aren’t a lot of people in the building. Singing, that is.

I’m a little congested today but only slightly in my throat, and something in there reverberated just right so that my voice, including not only the pitch but the sound I was singing, had a smaller, airy duplication in my throat that produced the notes an octave lower!!

What is this called and how do I learn to control it? It sounded AMAZING!

courtnee — Sun, 23 May 2010 05:20:27 +0000

Today, I enjoyed a leisurely sunny bike ride to give an awesome massage to an awesome lady, learned a bunch of stuff about PHP, then got soaked on my ride home catching raindrops on my tongue while listening to songs. like. these.

Not Applicable – Bad Romance (Unmastered)

courtnee — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 08:39:20 +0000

This one is really wounding me. I’m shaky and sick to my stomach. For music, this means I’m on the right track.

The previous version I was learning the song – This one is much different, and closer to an actual cover in my style.

Headphones recommended.

Chase you down until you love me

courtnee — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 08:22:25 +0000

And for shits and giggles, learning paparazzi too..

The concept of a Bad Romance

courtnee — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 09:32:34 +0000

Fiddling, just learned this tonight. I play it much better when I’m not singing along.

Concept for a cover of Lady Gaga, Bad Romance

This will make you love again

courtnee — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 08:25:44 +0000

First draft of my newest cover, “This will make you love again” by I am X.

When the joys of living just leave you cold
Frozen from the failing mess you’ve made your own
And if you want an ending to your screenplay life
Well here’s the consolation that might make you change your mind

This will make you love again
This will make you love

All the glitz Messiah’s just pass the time
A cure for no real sickness, cross your hopes and die
Your supermarket Jesus comes with smiles and lies
Where justice he delays is always justice he denies

This will make you love again
This will make you love again

And now you’re safe
Love again
To feel the rays
Love again

Early Thursday mornings, wipe away the flies
The crossfire fight for action in between your thighs
Every touch is sacred, when they leave the room
If I have to switch the lights off, I wanna switch them off with you

This will make you love again
This will make you love again
This will make you love again
This will make you love again

And now you’re safe
Love again
To feel the rays
Love again
The sweet delays
Love again
And shoot the breeze
Love again

The Aquamarine show, July 18

courtnee — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 22:18:57 +0000

Who: I will be playing an aerial siren as part of a beautiful love story
What: The aquamarine show at LRS
When: July 18, 9pm and Aug 15, 9pm
Where: Little Red Studio, 400 Dexter Ave N

Tickets can be purchased at Brown Paper Tickets or reserved

by calling (206) 328-4758

Join us as Little Red Studio explores the exotic underwater experience of The Aquamarine Show! This summer we will transform our sumptuous theater into a wet, sensual oasis, complete with mermaids, nymphs, sailors and pirates. Come dive into one of the most alluring elements on earth, Water. Lets splash around together in this world of sensory profusion, relaxation, healing, and spiritual reconnection.

Yay for fresh starts!

courtnee — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 20:26:24 +0000

Hm. Well then.

Apparently, my E:\ drive was not actually located on my external hard drive, as I have assumed. Rather, it was on the drive I partitioned and re-installed XP on last night.

My E:\ drive was the datastore which has housed all my source files for my music, images, and video projects for the last two years. A large fraction of the good pictures I’ve taken are on neevita, though the original high quality images of my self photography are now gone.

As for the music and video – I don’t know how much I care to recall at this particular moment how very little of it ever ventured from my drive. I’m sure it will come up over time as I think about things I want and discover they are gone.

Seems rather silly, that the data I’ve been worried about losing if my drives ever failed (or I wiped them out), are the 150 gigs of replacable mp3′s I have.

I suppose one of the fortunate aspects of this, aside from having a clean slate which I do rather enjoy, is how the experience has shown me what kind of relationship I’ve developed with my artwork.

Bummer. Thankfully, I will make more.

Additionally, my potential moving costs now include an external terabyte, which I’ve been putting off for a day too long it seems, to back up what I have left and hopefully prevent this from happening again any time soon. I’m offering all paintings currently for sale at a 25% discount, INCLUDING COMMISSIONS. http://neevita.net/artist/art-for-sale

An Intimate Spectacle, June 5th and 6th

courtnee — Sun, 31 May 2009 00:51:03 +0000

Who: A sampling of the last year with Little Red Studio.

What: I will be singing, and performing my favorite aerial piece for this show. It’s not to be missed!

When: Friday & Saturday, June 5th – 6th @ 9PM

Where: 400 Dexter Ave N, Seattle

$20 Tickets can be purchased online at Brown Paper Tickets or reserved by calling 206-328-4758.

We invite you to come enjoy some of your favorite performances from the past year here at Little Red Studio. This will be a chance to sit back as we bring you theater, dance, music, aerials and more from a variety of past shows. A few pieces you can look forward to include “Gett Off!” from the Dance Concert, “Party of Two” from Erotic Shorts, three aerial pieces, and music from the “Red Show”!

We hope you will join us for this stunning evening of entertainment!

Playing for Change

courtnee — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 22:24:50 +0000

I hope these videos go as viral as I think they will…

Playing For Change | Song Around The World “Stand By Me” from Concord Music Group on Vimeo.

There’s also world versions of:

“One Love” http://vimeo.com/3097281
and
“Don’t Worry” http://vimeo.com/2903195

Music I miss

courtnee — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 06:00:41 +0000

GOA, tribal trance, dark trance, dark ambient, dark wave, progressive trance…

I sense a lot of music digging to be done.

Special thanks to http://techno.org/electronic-music-guide/, and Simon, for the reminder.

Nailed

courtnee — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 18:06:45 +0000

So many years ago it pains me to say, because it means just that much life has passed my way already, I was a guitar player. I came into the world of original music through synth, and my first instrument was piano taught by my mother as a child, but I started out expressing my personality on guitar.

It was a frustrating time. I could pick up other peoples songs in minutes, but my original works always found me with a scowl on my face and a knot in my gut and were quickly thrown away. I hated how shrill and girly I sounded, how sad and painfully child like my voice was. I wanted to be a rock star, with driving Marshall stacks behind me, screaming to the world the rage that I held in my guts day, after day, after day. But my voice was “angelic”, and well, I hated it.

I stuck mainly with covers in guitar work, though there was a guitar song on Altercations. My method of covering on synth is to deconstruct, essentially distill what I internalized from the music I honor in others, and for that part I really enjoyed covering songs on guitar. But the lack of originals caused excessive feelings of failure and hackery. I didn’t feel I was remotely a ‘musician’ until I started producing original work. And well, even then… even now, I have my doubts that I really consider myself that.

Then came the performances of that work. It pained me to be present when someone listened to my music. Though I pushed myself otherwise on rare occasion, I hid behind the protection of the Internet so I never had to see any ones reactions in the flesh to it. I knew it was haunting and striking and that it had a tendency to peel down into the center of peoples melancholy. I liked that, I like invoking depth in people in most everything I express in my life. But I couldn’t handle the praise, and I felt embarrassed to the point of physical discomfort when I heard my own voice. Slowly, starting with that first show for my friends and coworkers in my living room 6 years ago, I have worked toward overcoming my stage fright, my self deprecation, and learning to be comfortable with my unique powers as an artist and musician.

It has been an extremely painful, fulfilling, almost mystic practice in my life.

I’ve since learned why it was, that I struggled so much with owning my music to other people. It always conflicted me, to know that my music was good, that I had something special, but to assume that it had to be bad because sharing it caused me feel so awful. It was the child in me crying out. Unsupported, alone, afraid, unsure. She needed me, cried out for me, and I wasn’t really there. Listening to my own music was like being in a locked cell, listening to the frantic and desperate cries of the greatest love in your life as they’re tortured down the hall. I had abandoned her, just like long ago, when I had needed someone who wasn’t there for me. And when I showed myself like that to people, it was shame and regret I felt. I didn’t understand how to help her. I was hoping they could.

I understand now. And it shows.

Last night, I covered three of the most influential guitar songs of my youth with the grace, poise, and dignity. I faced my audience with appreciation, warmth, and a genuine truth and strength that I have never shown any audience, ever. I gazed around the room at people while I sang and strummed and bore my very soul, cradling her and holding her aloft proudly. She was no longer cold, shivering, hidden, alone, being displayed like a fearful caged animal, with my eyes squinted shut to drown out the magnitude of her cries. God, I wish I had pictures.

Symbolically to this, and not by accident, I was not alone, either. I had a special guest, a new and dear friend, an amazing guitarist and vocalist, Andrew Cardillo, with me – cradling me, holding me aloft proudly, supporting my vision for these songs and trusting me as an artist to do him proud in our first collaboration together. I’ve so often sought that, so often wanted a connection with another musician that I could hold, someone geographically close enough to perform with, someone trustworthy.

For now, I seem to have found that person, that spark to ignite this deep well of potential I’ve flirted with for years in my online collaborations. Someone with similar sensibility to explore new frontiers with, to exercise my musical limits with, to add dimension to what I’ve already been doing, to have fun with, to support in his endeavors as well.

Thank you so much. To my friends who have supported my music, to my fans who have brought me so much warmth and jaw-slacking praises over the years, even when I had no idea what to do with them but argue. To my audience who never fails to share with me the deep stirring movement I invoke in them when I perform. To my supporters at Little Red Studio for believing in my abilities, their unyielding support and guidance, to the wonderful artists of all vocations and styles who have welcomed me into their worlds over the years, to the people behind the scenes that make it all happen.

Thank you to the universe for its infinite possibility and clever, cunning manner in teaching and keeping me on my feet. To teh int0rnetz, to mp3.com, to all the other musicians out there who inspire and continue to inspire people like me to have tried my hand at being as brave as they are. To my Dad for buying me my first guitar, to my ex husband and lifetime confidant for his everpresent support. To Scott, Stu, and Dan, for their particularly focused efforts in helping me lay the groundwork all those years ago. To my Mother. I know you did your best.

To my lovers, and to my enemies, and especially my lovers turned enemies, for giving me so, so much to write about. To Jamie, my brooklyn born drummer and incredible friend. To Chrissy and her unending pool of tranquil, loving support, and her beautiful voice, for finally pouring past my barriers and giving me a cause to open my music to others. To Andrew, my Scorpio kindred with so much left to show me. To Kimba, for letting me straight into his beautiful heart. To Jeff – You are so very dear to me.

And to Clayton. Nothing I could say here would be sufficient. You know how I feel about you.

Thank you for all of it. And so much more. I hadn’t meant to make this a long stream of thank you’s – but, there you go. I know I’m missing people.

I accomplished a dream last night, one that had always felt just out of reach. I hold this in my hands now, in awe, and I’m moved to a silent flush of tears. It’s one of the the most beautiful things I’ve ever felt. Thank you for sharing it with me. I’m brimming. Magnetic. Glowing. Thank you Thank you Thank you. And thank fucking god for yoga! I am so pleased to have discovered it again.

There is so much more to say, but I will leave this now.

Take care of each other,
-nee

I am so impressionable

courtnee — Sat, 06 May 2006 22:07:25 +0000

For the last few years, ever since the days of Hole/Nirvana/AiC/etc, I’ve been kinda starved for new energetic music.

Sure, Massive attack is great and all, but I’ve been listening to Mezzanine for like 10 years now or something.. and there is just something to be said for a decent rock trio type sound that can really kick my ass and make me wail in the car like a banshee on crack. More raw sounding stuff that.. I dunno… Uses real instruments. I haven’t felt that since Hole decided to start sucking and then died a drawn out death.

And aside from Hole, where are my Flaming Lips? My Folk Implosion? Where did it all go? And why the hell is Green Day still popular?

I mean, even KEXP, who claims to be all alternative and non-biased, generally plays the same 20 fucking songs unless you’re listening to some specialty show. Especially John in the morning. I mean that guy seriously needs to get over himself. Listen man, you’re cool and all, but you play the fucking Death Cab for Cutie singles like 5 times a day, and they’re not even that damn good; you can stop touting yourself as the worlds independent music messiah now.

Well, it’s more like.. where did I stop looking? Cause it seems after half a day of searching around for the bands mentioned in the Questionable Content (.net) forums, I’m finding all sorts of fun summer music that I am liking. Interpol, Apples in Stereo, Of Montreal (Whom I’d heard of but never heard), Slint..

I feel kinda dumb about it. I only started looking around for this stuff because I am enamored with the lives of the characters in a fucking web comic (I’ve spent the last few days reading all the archives).

But you know, I’m always searching for better things anyway, and who cares where the answer came from. I’m feeling energized and inspired by music again, and it feels like it’s been a long, long time. I even dusted off my copy of Live Through This and totally belted out a spot on rendition of “Violet” just now. Yeah, there’s a reason they called me “Courtnee, Love!”. Hah.

Anyway, all of that was mostly just leading up to a new site I found that looks really friggen neat: http://www.last.fm/

I wish they had a plug in for Music Match. Not because I like Music Match really, though their library system is unrivaled as far as I’m concerned, but because that’s the client I have to use for my Wireless Media system upstairs to connect to.

I am thinking about getting Winamp again and using that for most of my listening so I can start using http://www.last.fm/ to track and find new music I will like. I think it will really beat the crap out of http://pandora.com, which, while it is cool and all, is just not all that great at suggesting new music.

Anyway. If you’re into music, I suggested checking out http://questionablecontent.net. It’s like Penny Arcade for the indy music scene, but it also has an actual storyline and characters you can get invested in – people who are not unlike the ones you probably know. I’ve enjoyed it.

Now to go back to sitting around avoiding life by searching for music that I can imagine living life to. Ironic.

Go take a drive with the windows down.

10 albums that changed my life

courtnee — Thu, 23 Mar 2006 13:43:00 +0000

It’s the day and age where, not only is music so putridly awful that it’s rare to see an album that’s listenable all the way through, the advances of mp3, iTunes, Pandora and the Internet mean you no longer have to drop $17 for one good song on an album full of total crap. But there were some albums that were worth every penny. These are the “top” 10 that changed my life, or just helped me get through it. There are tons more, but I think these are the most influential, cause they came to mind first.

Hole – Live through this

I liked Pretty on the Inside, but Live through this was the most empowering ass slapping chick rock album I had ever heard or really heard since actually. It was still raw and gritty but not quite so ‘shock jock’ as Pretty on the Inside had been, very listenable, and very inspiring to me. I was gonna form my own band and scream and play guitar because of this album, though I later realized that I’m more suited to soft cooing than screaming any day. I could play the entire album on my fat acoustic pawn shop guitar that was way too big for me front to back and have many excellent memories of doing so. Lollapalooza 95 was all about Hole, my first crowd surfing experience and being groped. It was fucking awesome. God damnit Courtney what the fuck happened to you, girl.

Alice in Chains – Dirt

Want to know what my life was like as a teen? Put this album on repeat, spend a couple of years on speed, stop showering, cut yourself a lot, overdose on anything you can get your hands on, and decide to commit suicide a few times a year – you’ll pretty much have it. Dirt was one of those ‘I’m not alone’ albums that I still cherish to this day, and the melodic excellence of the band has given it the staying power that other staple bands of the time, like Garbage, just didn’t have. I still listen to this one sometimes, though for reasons I suppose are rather obvious I don’t choose to go there very often. I like the other AiC albums as well, but none were as hard hitting to me as Dirt, which for all intents and purposes put a soundtrack to my miserable drugged existence for the first time. It’s still incredibly potent to me, and I’m still a riddle so strong you can’t break me.

Nirvana – Unplugged in New York

Let me be fair. ALL of the Nirvana albums and the various bootlegs that floated around for most of the mid-late 90′s were the center of my universe for quite some time. But Unplugged was different. It was more my style of music as I grew older, and it represented a “Look what could have been” aspect that I feel is at least partially responsible for my surviving my teens. It really made me think about the price of burning out so early while still connecting with my depressive roots that continued to hold me firmly below the ground that everyone else seemed to be walking on, but it showed a promise that somehow kept my head above water, too. I would not make the same mistakes.

Tool – Aenema

Man, this one is just so amazing I don’t know that words will cut it. Finding this Album was like finding the God in myself. It was the first time someone elses music spoke directly to my soul, carried me away and fucked me like a passion-gorged lover returning from an extensive leave. It was sexy, fairly simple, cerebral music that I still turn to again and again for the warm tingling sensations it brings. By far the best concert I’ve ever experienced. Sober, too!

Soul Coughing – El Oso

Holy shit! Music that is upbeat makes you feel good?! WOW!

Dead Can Dance – The Serpents Egg

Who can REALLY describe their first introduction to Dead can Dance? I’ll just say that learning there was interesting, vocal, landscaping, gibberish music out there that wasn’t fucking Enya changed my life. Lisa specifically inspired me to use my voice more, and allowed me to stop being embarrassed that it frequently sounded sad and forlorn.

Fiona Apple – Tidal

This album got me the fuck out of Baltimore, and got me the fuck out of the most difficult relationship I’d ever been in. By far the most intelligent lyrics I’d ever heard, and to top it off, she was crazy. One of the greatest compliments I received during this time in my life was from a friend who saw Fiona in an interview and swore to god she was me incarnate. She was also the mirror image that caused me to realize, I didn’t want to be quite as fucked up as I was, and in turn really changed my life for the better. I still cry every time I hear certain songs on the album, “Never is a Promise”, “The child is gone”, “Sullen girl”.

Paul Oakenfold – Transport

This album was a major step for me. I went from music that helped me wallow to music that made me feel alive. It’s also the album that got me through many lonely, dehydrated late nights at Microsoft as a Software Test Engineer. This entry comes with a neat little story. A couple years after I’d pretty much taken the album out of rotation, I got an email though mp3.com (RIP) from some guy with the return address dreamtraveler@, asking if I’d be interested in doing some vocals for him. It turned out to be the same person who did the first, and my favorite, track on this album. We made a few tracks together that can be found on http://notapplicable.info to this day, and I’m sure we would have made more if I didn’t hate all of humanity back then, particularly the ones in the music industry.

Moby – Play

New meets old in the most endearing and entertaining way. This album was my companion for some time, the concept still amazes me, and I really liked that I was listening to Church music without wanting to barf in my own fist and throw it at someone. Play opened my mind to new things, particularly arts, and cemented my desire to spend more time in New York. I met Moby and his band during the height of my infatuation with Play, which was pretty much the coolest thing that could have happened to me like EVER, and they remembered me later too. :) Real fun times. Play reminds me of summer driving with the windows down and just.. feeling almost free, finally.

Massive Attack – Mezzanine

Once tired of trancy-clubby electronica, Massive Attack was the perfect step up, and represents my current musical tastes well. It is sensual, universal, applicable music that can be the center of attention, or the background noise, depending on your mood. “Angel” is my anthem, and was to be my wedding march had we had an actual wedding. It is currently stuck in my car stereo, as that’s what was in it when some fucktard stole my car and ripped up the dash.

I grew up listening to the classical station, and Adult contemporary 80′s music. There was nothing specific album-wise from that time period and mostly what I listened to was the radio anyway. My first CD? UB40 – Promises and lies, when I was in 8th grade. Other influential albums include Portishead – Dummy and Cowboys, tons of Movie Soundtracks (Memento, Donnie Darko, Batman Begins, etc), The Gorillaz albums, anything Pink Floyd, anything Radiohead, most of Bjorks stuff, and a bunch of other stuff that I just can’t think of at the moment. And of course, the release of my own albums on mp3.com were pretty significant for me as well.

Albums that I liked for a while but don’t really connect with anymore would be like, Green Day – Dookie, The older NIN stuff, Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Marilyn Masons albums, classics like Zeppelin and old Aerosmith, mostly popular albums that didn’t have as much staying power in my tastes. I can still listen, but I don’t seek the stuff out, and when I do it’s one or two songs, not the whole album.

Amazingly enough, it took me til this year to really discover Depeche Mode. I am so behind. And so not goth anymore.