I’m getting into the coursework aspect of being back in school now, reading memorizing and learning stuff about the mechanics of the body and the studies of it and everything. I’ve been feeling out of place and overwhelmed with it, being that I didn’t already know the differences between Anatomy, Pathology and Physiology, or the names of all the body cavities and abdominal regions, or the metric system, or what catabolism and anabolism is, so I’m scrambling to catch up to most of the class who bothered with high school and some even college.

I’m picking it up pretty quickly and realizing I do have a good concept of most of the basics. As I drill myself I am realizing that I’m retaining most of it even though it doesn’t feel like it most of the time. I’ve finished the first chapter about the body as a whole, and now I’m getting into chemistry, which I know a tiny bit already but still expect to have a pretty rough time of. After that are cells. I need to have read about 45 pages before Tuesday, and have comprehended it all. Guh.

School is expensive. I’m paying $13k just to go there, and then about another $3000 to the school for fees and other requirements throughout the program. Then I’ve got all my supplies and tools I’ll need to practice on people, which keep adding up and will continue to add up as I progress through the course. I am also getting some nice-to haves, like a table warmer (eventually) and a couple of large laminated charts of the muscular system and reflexology points. But shit man, I feel so broke.

My arm is already bothering me enough to be wondering if I can finish the program. I knew it would be an ongoing problem, but I was hoping to get through more school before it started effecting my work. I’ve been icing, and stretching, and eating well, and getting.. ok, sleep, and drinking a lot of water, but it’s not fending off the pain.

I realized while talking to my adviser that the key factor in my arm pain in that I’m working way too hard way too soon. It reminds me of my first year of aerials, where I thought I couldn’t do them because of my arms, but then eventually realized that I can totally do aerials, I just can’t do no-leg pike climbs on the rope and not expect my arms to fall apart for a couple weeks.

I’ve put myself on pressure probation for the next 6 weeks, and my focus for my technique work will be the flow and movement of the strokes, not pressure. For months, as well as when I was massaging a few years ago, I have been giving people deep effective work without the muscle memory and training I need to do it safely, and burning my body out. Even with FMS, I would feel the strain for days afterward, but it seemed ‘ok’ because I had time to recover. Can’t afford to do that to myself anymore, never could actually, so time to scale back and hope my practice bodies don’t bail on me from the sudden change in precedent.

We do arms on Monday. I am going to do the best I can to be the demonstration model. I am so there.