I am in a good mood today…
I wanted to give him a little staff or something to hold, or maybe even a flag, but eh.. I didn’t wanna spend that much time. Laughing my fool ass off at that grumpy looking little crotchmoat.
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Submitted by courtnee in public - 02.10.10 - 10:35 pm
Submitted by courtnee in public - 12.26.09 - 8:36 pm
Dear friends, I have very much enjoyed the interactions and access I’ve had with the people I am close to in my life by using Facebook, and I am grateful to have had the opportunity to connect with them all in such a way. I will miss the interaction and ease of having so many people in the same place at once online. Due to privacy concerns, I am no longer maintaining a personal profile on Facebook. A bit more detailed information is included in the comments of this post. People who have utilized my fan page and personal Facebook profile are highly encouraged to subscribe to the Neevita Mailing List, which I will keep up to date in light of taking a step back from corporate owned social media as a means of community. Thanks so much for your support. If you find a good alternative, let me know and I’ll follow you. Submitted by courtnee in public - 12.01.09 - 10:40 am
A photographic novel of the post-apocalypse
Submitted by courtnee in public - 11.30.09 - 11:28 pm
They finally released the project I worked on last month. I am one of the waitresses, very background. There’s a few shots of me but they’re so fast, it’s not really worth the effort to try and find me. Glad to have been a part of such a nice looking product. Have fun!
Submitted by courtnee in public - 11.26.09 - 5:03 am
I recently trimmed down my social networking presence and deleted a few accounts I don’t utilize anymore. I am no longer on livejournal or myspace. They were largely only reposts of stuff here for quite some time. I have RSS feeds and members only posts here, if interested in automatic injection. Cheers. Submitted by courtnee in public - 09.30.09 - 12:07 pm
My dad sent this along to me, I thought it was pretty spiffy. —- Submitted by courtnee in public - 08.30.09 - 12:16 am
http://www.hackernews.com/?p=303 Send feedback and story ideas to courtnee@hackernews.com Submitted by courtnee in public - 08.28.09 - 8:55 pm
Woke up at 8 to an email, got an idea, spent an hour and a half.. and viola! The elusive and mythical HNN t-shirt, courtesy of my Singer Quantum – not meant to embroider.. but, who is?
And then the rest of the day, I installed some dreads I’ve been making on Becky, and watched a lot of movies. Big Fish, Son of Rambo, Lucky Number Sleven, The Three Amigos and Snatch. We also drank way too much tequila. Anyway – PICTURES..
Submitted by courtnee in public - 07.16.09 - 1:46 am
I feel fortunate and full today. I am going to DEFCON this year. I just received my itinerary from whitetras and it’s official. I’m bringing someone important to me to show him vegas for the first time. I first went in 1995, when I was 15 and neck deep in linux, drugs and Marlboro Reds, and I’d recently discovered this thing called the web, and frequently picked fights about Slackware being superior to RedHat. I recall, during a recent move, finally throwing away my Slackware 2.7 CD which I had been keeping for posterity. I went to defcon religiously for a time, my entire social network of people living inside a computer. I didn’t know most of their real names. I spent night after late night online tinkering, listening to music for the jilted generation (come to think of it, I think someone I talked to used ‘jilted’ as a handle..) and waiting for the next defcon, so I could see all these people in person again – and hardly remember most of it. When I got a little older, I started playing with music, and joined mp3.com in 1997. The internet was still like the wild west and we were changing everything. My hacker friends helped me choose my juno 106 (thanks tfish) and hooked me up with equipment to make recording easier (tip of the hat to you whiteknight). After I created my first original song in 1999, on the floor of my living room, juno fresh out of its shipping box, paid for with my job breaking software at Microsoft, I started making a little money with CD sales and streams on mp3.com. I was interviewed with ABCNews for an article on female hackers, and later about my music being online, based on a recommendation from Jeff Moss, assuring the reporter (Sascha, another person I’ve kept in touch with) I was definitely not a scene whore. I’m not sure how accurate that assurance was, but it sure felt good at the time. I still boast that Jeff pierced my navel, under mild duress in my studio apartment, sometime in 1999. That sounds pretty scene whorish to me, but who am I to say. Maybe we were just, you know.. friends. Countless things have happened since my first defcon, and my introduction to the hacker community. My first website complete with a blue satin background and ripped off animated fire gifs was created in 1995, hosting a splattering of terrible teenage poetry. In 1997, Lars from the IRC channel #suicide sent me a black and white quickcam, and the neecam was put online, one of the first webcams during the era of Jennicam and Anacam, both of which were more popular, active and racy. I’ve occasionally contemplated what my life would have been like had I never discovered the internet and been part of a revolution. I can’t fathom it. I can’t fathom how I could have possibly found another pool of socially awkward, skinny, pale, wide-eyed geniuses to have sloppy, dysfunctional teenage relationships with either. One of many reasons I am very thankful that my life turned out how it did. I happened upon this awesome article about some of my friends. The L0pht is a fine example of what’s happened with this culture of misfits and criminals, but this is something that’s happened all over the landscape we built 10 years ago and long before that. I remember writing a rant about the difference between the hackers, my friends, and the script kids that were getting all the bad press, writing worms and breaking websites for attention. The hackers meant for what’s described in this article to happen from the beginning. They were out to change the world.
I’m so very proud of my friends, and feel fortunate today to have had these people in my life as examples. Hell, just today I discovered a hacker friend of mine, Josh Klein (who I met after handles weren’t quite so important to ones safety, so I don’t know his) was not only the speaker in a TED talk, some of the most amazing presentations on the planet, but was in Oprah fucking magazine talking about his passions and experiments. My peeps are DOING something. I, too, am out there doing my part to make a dent in the universe. I support a company I believe in as I make my base living to earn the stable springboard life situation I’ve built to do my more risky work. I’ve found a way to channel my compulsion to express and tell vivid stories, and the skills I’ve picked up along the way, toward a non-profit that matters. I have done some meaningful things, and I am growing, expanding, discovering new routes and possibilities nearly every day. I’ve come a long way from the girl who was found passed out under a van before defcon 6 had even started. For a time, I wondered if my life choices, and the people I spent time with, were the reason I seemed so fucked up and constantly struggling. I wonder 15 years later, if they’re a part of the reason that, right now, I’m not. Submitted by courtnee in public - 06.03.09 - 1:26 pm
Hm. Well then. Apparently, my E:\ drive was not actually located on my external hard drive, as I have assumed. Rather, it was on the drive I partitioned and re-installed XP on last night. My E:\ drive was the datastore which has housed all my source files for my music, images, and video projects for the last two years. A large fraction of the good pictures I’ve taken are on neevita, though the original high quality images of my self photography are now gone. As for the music and video – I don’t know how much I care to recall at this particular moment how very little of it ever ventured from my drive. I’m sure it will come up over time as I think about things I want and discover they are gone. Seems rather silly, that the data I’ve been worried about losing if my drives ever failed (or I wiped them out), are the 150 gigs of replacable mp3′s I have. I suppose one of the fortunate aspects of this, aside from having a clean slate which I do rather enjoy, is how the experience has shown me what kind of relationship I’ve developed with my artwork. Bummer. Thankfully, I will make more. Additionally, my potential moving costs now include an external terabyte, which I’ve been putting off for a day too long it seems, to back up what I have left and hopefully prevent this from happening again any time soon. I’m offering all paintings currently for sale at a 25% discount, INCLUDING COMMISSIONS. http://neevita.net/artist/art-for-sale Submitted by courtnee in public - 04.24.09 - 10:55 pm
A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, I played a little flash game called samorost. I’d never seen something so well made in flash. I fell in love with it, and at the time, I wrote the author and asked if he wanted me to mirror his game on phuqed. He agreed, and I suspect I may be one of the few people who has the original game in its entirety besides the creators. I ran across my copy of it recently, and thought I might want to put it back up – But thankfully, it’s not only alive and well on the web, but has a SEQUEL on top of it! Rad!! http://amanita-design.net/samorost-1/ http://amanita-design.net/samorost-2/ Memories, anyone? (P.S. Some may appreciate knowing that the $5 full version of the sequel has a $3.50 sircharge, making it closer to a $10 game than $5) Submitted by courtnee in public - 04.16.09 - 11:15 am
I went through and converted all livejournal user accounts on neevita today. If you logged in before with username@livejournal.com, your account is now just username, with everything set the same as before, including your password. Submitted by courtnee in public - 05.22.08 - 12:24 pm
I momentarily considered posting in response to the article on the NYT site, But my days of putting myself in the middle of shit like that are quite behind me. I have my space carved out here, (where I post rather occasionally now) and a few other satellite networking footholds, and that’s about the gist of it anymore. I’ve a lot of mixed thoughts and associated feelings about what I’m absorbing from http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/25/magazine/25internet-t.html?ex=1369195200&en=fa6fdbbd3d7d5adf&ei=5124&partner=permalink&exprod=permalink If not being drawn in by it, I can easily look past the gratuitous length and self-absorbed narcissism, (which I, being as I am, don’t see as much of a ‘bad’ thing anyway) to get at the bigger picture of its cultural and personal relevance. I believe Emilys cautionary tale is bravely presented, well written, and is worthy of an attentive forum. I find myself comparing notes. Being thankful that I had a head start, before blogging was blogging and fuel for media companies. I started nearly 10 years before Emily did, spewing my guts and soul online as self-medication. Nothing in my life was too sacred to put on my site and allow to be picked apart, scrutinized, and more often, encouraged or supported by whoever decided to read it. As I evolved, I did similar things with my music and artwork. And eventually, I recognized my patterns and have taken steps to balance my life which have proven beneficial and quite rewarding. After reading about Emily, I am again pleased that at one time I held the ideal that I would not ‘sell my soul’ or jump onto the emerging opportunity to make money off my journaling. How that young idealism served me in avoiding many of the pitfalls she fell into surfaces now and again as I live my life. I’ve also found a somewhat sickening comfort in her story. I was not alone in my obsessive, often self-abusive use of my web site as a downright brutal form of therapy. Maybe my history, and the culture I come from, is not as weird and alien as.. well, it felt, at the time. Maybe I’m not such a freak afterall. I wanted to reach out to her, commiserate with her, advise her, learn from her. Thank her. Emilys story is a candid look into a social phenomenon that is fascinating and in some ways inspiring, and also quite alarming and concerning. It’s a way of life that’s painful and scary, largely because it’s so misunderstood and scrutinized by the people outside of it. Aside from being impressed and intrigued by anothers beautifully written saga, these responses I’m processing from the content of her immense article are rather familiar. They have been tumbled around a lot throughout my years. The masturbation is fun, but it’s not the meaty juicy cut I tend to crave nowadays. My big “AHA!” takeaway from the piece is the reader comments. So many generalized, reactionary, hypocritical statements about my “Generation” being nothing but a whining bag of fuckheads, sitting on their computers jerking off and saying mean shit to one another instead of doing something ‘meaningful’ with their lives. Such a majority defining Emilys story about the realities of our social development as drivel, unimportant, a waste of their time, is saddening to me. I think it’s furthering the isolation, tendency to invert, and social disconnection of people who are growing up in similar situations and turning increasingly to their blogs instead of real life. The number of people publishing their privates is growing. In reading these comments, many from portions of our society that would not have read about Emily if it were published in a more specialized place, I’m beginning to understand why it was a brilliant move to put her on the front page of a New York Times Publication. Like we really need more tragic death and war stories, more conformity, more consumerism, more capitalism.. evidence of the very dehumanizing shit that helped fuel the arrival of people with struggles like Emily has. The want for attention, validation, to feel valued somehow, to contribute, and to be heard, is human. It’s not just Emily attempting to get those things by sharing her thoughts in her blogs. The isolated-yet-public (and instantaneous) method of blogging sure is easier to notice than someone who quietly volunteers at a soup kitchen in order to feel valued and important. Or someone who secretly beats the shit out of their kids behind closed doors to feel respected. But let’s get real people. It’s all the same basic stuff. I think Emily has made mistakes while seeking the attention she desires, many of which have been hurtful to herself as well as her loved ones. Her progression is obvious, as is her intelligence and sensitivity. It’s clear that she’s learning and prioritizing, finding her way. The woman was 24 when she took the high profile, high stress job at Gawker in 2006. She was a kid for christ sake, and in many respects got eaten alive. She reacted by defending herself, gulped down the resulting shitstorm, and overcame. When I first wrote about this, after reading so many all-too-familiar “what a bunch of self absorbed shit” comments in response to Emily, I was mindful of writing about me in response. The parallels between Emily Gould and the previous incarnation of myself are quite obvious. If you know about phuqed.org, I probably don’t have to mention much else. This isn’t as uncommon as some would like to presume. It’s a culture that’s surfacing. Just like the geek/hacker community eventually surfaced to build your ipods, lock down your POP3 servers, and trick out your PDA’s. Just like the underground, unknown music community surfaced after that to collaborate with one another online, making music available to more people by building really ugly myspace pages (http://myspace.com/notapplicableinfo, foo!). And it’s being capitalized on, just like those movements were. Brilliant, young, impressionable people are getting ground up by the corporate machine in that process. Again. Always. There is a power in sharing your experience with others. I know it well and so does Emily. So, here. Take it. This is the third culture wave I’ve ridden along with, and watched crash full force into our society. It’s my opinion that someone choosing to post some flippant remark about how having a blog won’t make Emily special in response to the kind of social commentary and insight Emily provided, has one hell of a wake up call on the way. At least, I sure hope a wake up call is on the way. For the sake of this generation … raised by many of the people now scowling at Emily in disgust and hypocritically telling us all about it. Good job there, fellas. Submitted by courtnee in members only - 08.23.00 - 1:12 am
after almost a month of coding by motherfucking |
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