Embodied – Live in Seattle, 2011

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A provocative multimedia show and design project, Embodied is CFR’s most technically ambitious of live shows to date, including video projection, live painting, live musical performance and first foray into crowdfunding. Performed for two nights in November of 2011 with a budget of nearly $4000, Embodied depicted the sense of personality fragmentation in CFR’s trauma laden youth. Embodied is Both a homage to as well as the fulcrum of the extensive experience of slowly piecing ones self together to truly become capable of being a whole person when parts of ones self are still trapped in limbo, waiting to be felt fully.

The musical performances in Embodied were bookended with circus aerial work as part of the presentation illustrating an intense musical journey, including much of Not Applicable’s original vocal landscapes and distinctive cover songs at a time when they had only been performed live once, a decade prior.

Anyone who enjoys being moved by the dark, melancholy, and profound will love this album in particular. There is also a behind the scenes DVD available of the making of the show.

Artist, performer, director and writer: Courtnee Papastathis (also as Zita the Aerialist)
Sound Engineering, violin: Edgars Klepers
Visuals and Lights: Courtnee Papastathis, Scott Steffy, Monica Schumacher, and Miked Up Productions.
Released September 15, 2012

1. Threshold (Live) 09:17

You lied

2. Serve the Servants (Nirvana) 05:35

I know you are

Teenage angst has paid off well
Now I’m bored and old
Self-appointed judges judge
More than they have sold
If she floats than she is not
A witch like we had thought
A down payment on another
One at Salem’s lot

I know you are
Serve the servants – oh no

As my bones grew they did hurt
They hurt really bad
I tried hard to have a father
But instead I had a dad
I just want you to know that I
Don’t hate you anymore
There is nothing I could say
That I haven’t thought before

I know you are
But what am I

Serve the servants – oh no

I just want you to know that I
Don’t hate you anymore

3. Atonement (Live) 06:05

I don’t need anyone
I belong in my own
Release me
Won’t you release me

4. Street Spirit (Radiohead) 05:31

Rows of houses, all bearing down on me
I can feel their blue hands touching me
All these things into position
All these things we’ll one day swallow whole

And fade out again and fade out

This machine will, will not communicate
These thoughts and the strain I am under
Be a world child, form a circle
Before we all go under

And fade out again and fade out again

Cracked eggs, dead birds
Scream as they fight for life
I can feel death, can see its beady eyes
All these things into position
All these things we’ll one day swallow whole

Fade out again
Fade out again
Immerse your soul in love
Immerse your soul in love

5. Sepulture 07:30

No we can’t escape this moment
We can’t escape

Play the victim
Blame the system
Tell your story
To all who’ll listen

6. Hey You (Pink Floyd) 02:40

Hey you, out there in the cold
Getting lonely, getting old
Can you feel me?

Hey you, standing in the aisles
With itchy feet and fading smiles
Can you feel me?

Hey you, don’t help them to bury the live
Don’t give in without a fight

Hey you out there on your own
Sitting naked by the phone
Would you touch me?

Hey you with you ear against the wall
Waiting for someone to call out
Would you touch me?

Hey you, would you help me to carry this stone?
Open your heart, I’m coming home

7. I Put a Spell on You (Screamin’ Jay Hawkins) 06:48

I put a spell on you
Because you’re mine

I still feel the things you do
I still feel what you try to prove
I don’t care if you don’t want me
Cause I’m yours anyhow

Why would I lie that I love you
Why would I lie that I loved you
Now I loathe you

I still feel the things you do

8. Paint it Black (Rolling Stones) 03:54

I see you red door and I want it painted black
No color anymore I want them painted black

I look inside myself and see my heart is black
No flowers and my love both never to come back

No more will my green sea both turn a deeper blue
I could not foresee this thing happening to you

If I look hard enough into the setting sun
My love will laugh with me until the morning comes

Paint it
Paint it black

9. My Sweet Prince (Placebo) 06:10

Never thought you’d make me perspire
Never thought I’d do you the same
Never thought I’d fill with desire
Never thought I’d feel so ashamed

Me and the dragon can chase all the pain away
So before I end my day remember
My sweet prince you are the one
My sweet prince
You are the one

Never thought I’d have to retire
Never thought I’d have to abstain
Never thought all this could back fire
Never thought I’d hold you to blame

Me and my valuable friend
Can fuck all this pain away
So before I end my day, remember
My sweet prince
You are the one
My sweet prince
You are the one

You are the one
You are the one
You are the one
You are the one
Never thought I’d get any higher
Never thought you’d fuck with my brain
Never thought all this could expire
Never thought you’d go break the chain

Me and you baby
Still sweat all the pain away
So before I end my day, remember
My sweet prince
You are the one
My sweet prince

10. Infinite Reality (Live) 06:45

11. My Way (Paul Anka) 06:27

And now, the end is here
And I face the final curtain
My friend, I’ll say it clear
I’ll state my case, of which I’m certain

I’ve lived a life that’s full
I’ve traveled every highway
But more, much more than this
I did it my way

Regrets, I’ve had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to
I saw it through without exemption

I planned each charted course
Each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way

Yes, there were times, I’m sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all, when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out
I faced it all and I stood tall
And did it my way

I’ve loved, I’ve laughed and cried
I’ve had my fill my share of losing
And now, as tears subside
I find it all so amusing
To think I’ve done all this
And may I say – not in a shy way

Oh no, oh no, not me
I did it my way

For what is a human, what have we got
If not ourselves, then we hav naught
So say the things you truly feel
And not the words of one who kneels

The record shows I took the blows
And did it my way
Yes, I did it my way

12. Preterition (Live 07-02-12) (bonus) 05:34

You’ll be sorry when I’m gone


Embodied is a one-woman show illustrating a musical journey, and a rare public performance including much of my original music and distinctive cover songs. It depicts the sense of the personality fragmentation in youth that occurred for me when my mother left, and the experience of slowly piecing one’s self together to truly become a whole person living an embodied life. The show consists of live music, stunning visuals, palpable energy and aerial performance.

Anyone who enjoys being moved by the dark, melancholy, and profound will love this show.

November 9th and 10th. 2011
8pm – 10pm

FRED Wildlife Refuge
127 Boylston St
Seattle, WA 98102

Tickets are $20 at Brown Paper Tickets and at the door, space permitting.


I first emerged on mp3.com as “Not Applicable” in 1999, with my first track Infinite Reality immediately topping the ambient electronic charts. Over the next few years through mp3.com, two albums were released; Point of Origin in 2000, and Altercations in 2001.

Until the 2008 limited edition self released album “Songs of Leaving”, my first album in 8 years, I’ve mostly favored covers and lending vocals to other artists. In 2001 I produced vocals for The Dream Traveler (Joey Fehrenbach) for the tracks Structure and Headpusher. Described as “impressive and emotive”, both Structure and Headpusher were released together as a well-received single through Fade records in 2003. Headpusher was featured on Nick Warren’s Global Underground release Reykjavik.

In 2002, I sang on Scribe Machine’s album Replicant for the stand-out track Fragile, a top 10 hit on many college radio stations, which was later released as a Maxi-single through Plan B and Tower Records.

“Not Applicable (Courtnee Papastathis) is a spectacular and rather cinematic experience. The central texture is influence by Tangerine Dream & Brian Eno and periodically altering its orientation to Phillip Glass & Steve Riech. My favorite part of this music is the mysterious tension of the hauntingly beautiful vocalization. The Music takes occasional ominous sounding detours into new age, and even flirts with electronic windham styling. But the overall aesthetic is still very original.” – The Big Roll

“Not Applicable is a one-woman band (Courtnee Fallon Papastathis) who possesses the unique ability to virtually freeze time with her moving, highly emotional ambient landscapes.” – Digital DriveThru Essentials

“Not Applicable’s Courtnee Fallon Papastathis writes highly emotional ambient music, combining dreamy tones with an unforgettably beautiful voice.” – Mp3.com Spotlight

“For an album that has not one word, it still seems to speak to you; The music has a way of speaking its message through the pitch and emotion in the vocals rather than poetry. Point of Origin is the death of a loved one and the regret our minds ponder, the things that are spiraling around our subconscious every day. Not Applicable is a musical form of these” – Azriel J. Knight





I Put a Spell on You (dub) – TRAPEZE OPENING
Serve the Servants (Nirvana)
Street Spirit (Radiohead)
Hey You (Pink Floyd)

Whatever Lola Wants (Richard Adler & Jerry Ross)
Paint it Black (Rolling Stones)
My Sweet Prince (Placebo)
Infinite Reality
My Way (Paul Anka)


EMBODIED could not have been created without the help of my generous Kickstarter Backers


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