This mornings discovery: I have just enough room at the foot of my bed to do morning jumping jacks, complete with a mirror so I can watch my boobs bounce.
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April 15, 2012, 9:41 pm in updates
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“You know you sorta parked like a dickbag there all far from the curb and stuff.” ‘No, I’m within a foot. I’m just not riding the curb like I do your ass.’ April 15, 2012, 8:07 am in updates
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I sleep super weird with a gut full of steak and cherries. April 1, 2012, 9:53 pm in updates
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Drunken water drinking races, creepy leering at semihot bartender, bacon boot guarding, connecting with my musical roots, and a road trip to taco bell. All while my face is trying to fall off. Doing it right, FTW. March 29, 2012, 9:47 pm in public
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To whoever googled “Horny ginger” and somehow ended up at http://neevita.net/archives/tag/acne — my apologies, and thanks for the laugh. March 29, 2012, 6:02 pm in quotes
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“It’s really hard to hate someone for being different -George Takei March 29, 2012, 8:27 am in updates
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Driving behind an unloaded semi in Seattle = poor mans Bellagio fountain. March 13, 2012, 10:23 pm in updates
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I just inadvertently violated my own asshole in the shower. I have learned many notable things from this experience, including that a seemingly innocuous flaccid pinkie still has a few bones in it, and that I had better trim my nails before going to the office tomorrow. February 23, 2012, 5:00 pm in updates
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The fuzzy little asian kid in the bus seat in front of me is playing peekaboo. After pretending not to notice what he’s been doing the last few minutes I totally just pulled the shoulder-tap fakeout on him. Ridicasatisfied. February 23, 2012, 1:08 pm in public
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Dammit, you dumb squishy turd — You’re supposed to come BEFORE the shower. BEFORE, the shower. February 20, 2012, 12:34 pm in public
Anyone else noticed that the & symbol looks like a little man dragging his butt across the floor? (Thanks a lot, Shatter.) February 12, 2012, 5:04 pm in updates
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Lazy people fact #2483647583 – You were too lazy to read that number. February 9, 2012, 5:49 am in updates
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At some point it will begin occurring to me that I happen to already know that masturbation is an excessively effective sleep aid BEFORE I’ve stayed up 7 hours fucking with the Internet, awaiting tiredness. February 9, 2012, 12:41 am in updates
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God damn my tits are fucking awesome right now! Well, they’re mostly just awesome looking. They’re actually pretty sore. The exclamation is more for the circumstances of epic tittary; I’m PMSing, in a great mood consistently, and have had the boobs now for almost a week. I’m sorta thinking of maybe pinching myself. February 5, 2012, 8:08 pm in updates
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*squints in puzzlement at youtube* .. I remember Good Idea / Bad Idea being more consistently-good than this. Some of them are even reversed. February 3, 2012, 1:48 pm in updates
I getting the stink-eye from the women I pass on the street today. I am laughing at it, because I feel great and it’s awesome to have energy finally, but I know where they’re coming from, too. Perhaps they would feel better if they knew how loose and angry my stools are. :D |
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