I just sat down to write a rant about Pandora and their flip-floppy principals of having intricate, almost hieroglyphic explanations for track selections, but no way to tell them why you liked or disliked a track.

Sure, it’s great to know that you picked Sinewave for me because of its “electronica roots, downtempo influences, unsyncopated ensemble rhythms, straight drum beats and use of modal harmonies” — but you don’t care why I’m thumbing it up or down?

I’ve developed a fucking complex about it man, cause like.. I’m sick to fucking death of “Teardrop” and that fucking track from the Virgin Suicides, but I still want Pandora to play similar tracks and not deprive my station of the “electronica roots, ambient soundscapes, downtempo influences, headnodic beats and unsyncopated ensemble rhythms” because I gave an Air track the stinkythumb.

Similarly, I sometimes want to thumbs up a track because of it’s intro or outro before all those stupid drums and shit kick in, but I don’t because then my station transforms into some kind of glitchrave, and I get all sorts of weird twitchy shit that’s full of the part of the song I just thumbsup’d that I didn’t like.

I was just sitting down to bitch about this when I poked around the site a little bit and found an “I’m tired of this track” option buried under the uparrow submenu thingie for the track that says “Why was this track selected?”

So there. Hopefully that helps someone out there. But don’t even think about trying to be remotely granular in your Pandora feedback from the fucking mobile app. That thing won’t even let me go back to thumbs up a track I heard while I had grease all over my hands and my fist burrowed between someones internal organs.

The dangers of using Pandora at work..