This is a very fertile, active time. They all are really. I’m noticing it a lot in circumstance right now.
I’m bursting with creativity, especially in my wigmaking. I just completed an order (style wise, still needs some finishing touches) that really has my eyes sparkling for making more kickass hair for people. I have three more in the works.
Obsidian is tremendous. It’s a tremendous social challenge, to lead how I wish to lead rather than how habit would direct me to. It’s a tremendous creative challenge, to bring into reality what I’ve created in my head as snippets and sensations of atmosphere. It’s a tremendous gift. To me, to the cast, to the studio, to our audience. And it’s so much damn FUN, too. Even figuring out the challenges.
I’m noticing that it may be such that while I’m intelligent and analytical, I tend to only ENJOY being those things when it’s cause for realizing my artistic side. I may be more in my element with artists than with ubergeeks. I never would have really considered that, until this project, and seeing so many people just.. get me. Just get where I’m coming from. It feels awesome. Thank God there are so many art/geek fusions in Seattle.
I’m training my replacement at work. In doing so, I’m realizing just how much I care about my job. I’ve discovered that I actually hold some passions for medicine. I’m not sure why this hasn’t occurred to me in this way before, especially considering I spent 18 months and +$15,000 in massage school recently, but there you go.
Strangely, I’m also realizing that it’s unrealistic for me to rely on a private massage practice in any substantial financial way. My body simply cannot do 8 hours of table massage a week. I actually feel rejuvenated by the realization. It’s been stressful contemplating how to possibly make a living at massage full time.
Speaking of medical stuff – The pap and STD screening I urgently scheduled recently came back abnormal. I went in for my biopsy today, and not only am I Batman, apparently I have a cunt of steel as well. Rather than the typical wham bam cough and punch-tool, the thing held onto me like a fucking rabid terrier mouth molesting a sock. In two tries we still hadn’t gotten the sample, and I had catapulted from mild mannered adult (I’d done amazingly well, for those who know me – no one holding my hand, either!) to quivering big-eyed ouchie sorta-laughing child. MEW! Life is hard. I’m fine now. Getting up at 6am to make the appointment was worse. I’ll just keep telling myself that.
Someone I had a drink with recently said something that’s been touching me ever since, about how my photos don’t do me justice; in that I have a kindness and vulnerability about me that doesn’t come across. They added that they felt the opportunity to see it a privilege. Wow. Hard work does pay off. What a lovely compliment and attestation to the hard work I’ve done.
Now piss off. My guts hurt and it’s time to go.
